Domestic Abuse & Safety
Information, options, and support for wherever you are right now.
You may still be in the relationship. You may be thinking about leaving. You may have already left and still be dealing with abuse, control, stalking, threats, financial harm, or court-related conflict. You do not have to fit one version of a survivor to deserve support.
Start with the resource that feels safest and most useful today.
Where Are You Right Now?
I’M STILL IN IT
Understanding abuse, identifying patterns, safety-focused information, and confidential support.
I’M THINKING ABOUT LEAVING
Safety planning, important documents, trusted support, housing, finances, and preparation.
I’VE LEFT, BUT IT ISN’T OVER
Post-separation abuse, stalking, technology misuse, legal resources, documentation, and rebuilding safety.
I’M SUPPORTING SOMEONE ELSE
Guidance for friends, family, coworkers, and loved ones who want to help without increasing risk.
Understand What’s Happening
Signs of Abuse
Recognizing early warning signs and patterns of power and control in interpersonal relationships.
Best for: Naming what’s happening
Type: Guide
Financial Abuse
Gaining visibility into how control over money, debt, and resources is used as a barrier to independence.
Best for: Understanding resource control
Type: Article
Post-Separation Abuse
Providing tools for navigating abuse that continues or escalates after a victim ends the relationship.
Best for: Reclaiming safety after leaving
Type: Guide
Coercive Control
Understanding patterns of behavior used to dominate, isolate, and limit another person's freedom.
Best for: Identifying systematic control
Type: Article
Technology-Facilitated Abuse
Addressing abuse conducted through devices, social media, accounts, and surveillance tools.
Best for: Addressing digital harms
Type: Guide
Emotional & Psychological Abuse
Exploring non-physical tactics such as gaslighting, isolation, and verbal threats that impact mental safety.
Best for: Validating emotional experiences
Type: Guide
Stalking & Harassment
Navigating safety when experiencing unwanted pursuit, monitoring, and repetitive intrusive contact.
Best for: Managing persistent threats
Type: Article
Plan for Safety
Worksheet
Personal Safety Plan
A comprehensive tool for identifying risks and finding ways to reduce them.
Best for: Identifying and reducing risks
Guide
Safety While Still Living Together
Strategies for staying as safe as possible while sharing a residence with an abusive partner.
Best for: Navigating shared living
Checklist
Preparing to Leave
Practical steps, logistics, and safety considerations if you are thinking about or planning to exit.
Best for: Preparation plans
Safety planning should be individualized. Trained domestic-violence advocates can help you think through options. The National Domestic Violence Hotline describes safety planning as personalized and practical for people experiencing abuse, preparing to leave, or after leaving.
Organize What’s Happening
Log
Incident Documentation Log
A safe way to track specific incidents, dates, and details for future reference.
Best for: Documentation
Est. Time: 10-15 mins
Tracker
Communication Log
Systematically organizing messages, emails, and phone calls for safe record-keeping.
Best for: Safe logging
Est. Time: 15 mins
Checklist
Evidence Organization Checklist
Managing photos, recordings, and other information effectively and safely.
Best for: Organization
Est. Time: 20 mins
Documentation can be useful, but it should never come before immediate safety. Laws about recording, evidence, custody, and court use vary by jurisdiction.
Technology Safety
• Password and account security
• Location sharing
• Shared cloud accounts
• Devices and trackers
• Social media privacy
• Email safety
• Stalking through technology
NNEDV Safety Net Project
The Safety Net project focuses on the intersection of technology and domestic violence, providing resources for survivors and advocates.
Find Help
Understand Laws in Your State
Plain-language information about protection orders, custody, divorce, immigration, firearms, court preparation, and related topics.
Find Advocates & Shelters Near You
A directory to find local programs, shelters, advocacy, and referrals by state.
Victim Assistance & Compensation
Information on state-by-state victim assistance, compensation, and victim services.
Talk to Someone Who Does This Every Day
WomensLaw
Legal information and support via email and online guides.
NNEDV Safety Net Project
Expertise on technology-facilitated abuse.
Office for Victims of Crime
Federal resources and assistance for crime victims.
Find Help
Talk to Someone Who Does This Every Day
WomensLaw
Email hotline providing legal information for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.
NNEDV Safety Net Project
Expertise on the intersection of technology and domestic violence, stalking, and sexual assault.
Office for Victims of Crime
Administers the Crime Victims Fund and supports victims across the United States.
Organize What’s Happening
Practical Tools You Can Use
Worksheet
Safety Planning Reflection
A guided reflection to help you identify your current safety needs.
20 min
Checklist
Important Documents Checklist
A list of essential personal, legal, and financial documents to gather.
10 min
Tracker
Incident Documentation Log
A secure way to record events, dates, and evidence of what's happening.
Ongoing
Understand What’s Happening
If You’re Here for Someone You Love
Supporting someone experiencing abuse can be difficult. You do not have to have all the answers. Listening without judgment, respecting their choices, and connecting them with trained advocates can matter.
What to Say
How to validate their experience and offer emotional support safely.
How to Offer Practical Help
Tangible ways to support safety planning, childcare, or transportation.
Leaving Does Not Always End the Abuse
Post-Separation Abuse
Understanding patterns of control that continue after the relationship ends.
Stalking & Harassment
Monitoring safety and gathering information for legal protection.
Digital Safety
Securing your long-term online presence and privacy.
Parenting & Custody Resources
Navigating co-parenting or parallel parenting in high-conflict situations.
Financial Rebuilding
Tools and strategies for restoring financial independence.
Career & Education
Support for professional growth and educational transitions.
When the Crisis Begins to Quiet
Lavender After Storm Reinvention Sessions can help with goals, routines, confidence, identity, career, and rebuilding after major change, but they are not crisis services, therapy, domestic-violence advocacy, legal representation, or safety planning.
Lavender After Storm provides general educational resources and organizational tools. This page does not provide legal advice, therapy, crisis intervention, domestic-violence advocacy, medical advice, or individualized safety planning. Safety needs vary, and some actions can increase risk in certain situations. For individualized support, contact a qualified domestic-violence advocate, attorney, licensed professional, or emergency service appropriate to your circumstances.